Heavy.
So heavy is this heart of mine,
its dull thump resounds within
its rib-cage prison; a hammer
pounding on a lump of lead,
never ceasing its solemn rhythm
yet ever longing to be free.
Heavy.
So heavy is my weary soul,
trapped within this sack of bones
and pale flesh: sobbing, begging,
longing to be released of its misery;
to be no longer burdened by the sorrow
that ever threatens to envelop it in darkness.
Heavy.
So heavy are my sleepy eyelids,
always open, always watching,
always waiting to catch a glimpse
of that promised thing, that day
when they can finally rest; when
finally they can close in peaceful sleep.
Heavy.
So heavy are these aching feet:
kicking up the dust, dragging in the dirt,
always threatening to give way and topple
the body they support, yet always walking,
never slowing; always stumbling,
always screaming for relief.
Heavy.
So heavy are the cramped fingers
that write these solemn words:
always busy, always moving;
desiring to grasp the fingers of
one who never comes; longing to
be held by one who’s long been gone.
Heavy.
So heavy are the thoughts that wrack
this harried mind; so saddening the emotions
that flow through these tired veins,
always threatening to overcome,
to spill tears, to wrench a scream
from this ragged throat.
Heavy.
So heavy were the tears
that flowed from my eyes
the day you left for good;
the salty, acrid water streaming
down my face: never stopping,
always coming, never bringing comfort.
Heavy.
So heavy are the thoughts of you,
heavy with memory and grief;
happy times there were, yes, but
always clouded by pain:
pain of how you left, of how
you’re never here.
Heavy.
So heavy is the weight of
these years that have gone by:
the years passed by without you,
without your loving smile;
growing-up with others by my side-- others
always there, but never were they you.
Heavy.
So heavy is the pain:
the pain of conversations
that we never had, the hurt
of a relationship that we’ll
never have; the questions
without answers—there are never answers.
Heavy.
So heavy is my sorrow, yes,
and never will it leave me,
but I’ll be glad to shoulder it all
if you’ll just come back to me;
come home, back where you belong,
and I’ll gladly carry this pain so heavy.
