"Heavy"

Heavy.

So heavy is this heart of mine,

its dull thump resounds within

its rib-cage prison; a hammer

pounding on a lump of lead,

never ceasing its solemn rhythm

yet ever longing to be free.

Heavy.

So heavy is my weary soul,

trapped within this sack of bones

and pale flesh: sobbing, begging,

longing to be released of its misery;

to be no longer burdened by the sorrow

that ever threatens to envelop it in darkness.

Heavy.

So heavy are my sleepy eyelids,

always open, always watching,

always waiting to catch a glimpse

of that promised thing, that day

when they can finally rest; when

finally they can close in peaceful sleep.

Heavy.

So heavy are these aching feet:

kicking up the dust, dragging in the dirt,

always threatening to give way and topple

the body they support, yet always walking,

never slowing; always stumbling,

always screaming for relief.

Heavy.

So heavy are the cramped fingers

that write these solemn words:

always busy, always moving;

desiring to grasp the fingers of

one who never comes; longing to

be held by one who’s long been gone.

Heavy.

So heavy are the thoughts that wrack

this harried mind; so saddening the emotions

that flow through these tired veins,

always threatening to overcome,

to spill tears, to wrench a scream

from this ragged throat.

Heavy.

So heavy were the tears

that flowed from my eyes

the day you left for good;

the salty, acrid water streaming

down my face: never stopping,

always coming, never bringing comfort.

Heavy.

So heavy are the thoughts of you,

heavy with memory and grief;

happy times there were, yes, but

always clouded by pain:

pain of how you left, of how

you’re never here.

Heavy.

So heavy is the weight of

these years that have gone by:

the years passed by without you,

without your loving smile;

growing-up with others by my side-- others

always there, but never were they you.

Heavy.

So heavy is the pain:

the pain of conversations

that we never had, the hurt

of a relationship that we’ll

never have; the questions

without answers—there are never answers.

Heavy.

So heavy is my sorrow, yes,

and never will it leave me,

but I’ll be glad to shoulder it all

if you’ll just come back to me;

come home, back where you belong,

and I’ll gladly carry this pain so heavy.